Her Brain Threw a Knuckleball Today

Just when I thought we’ve settled into “new normal”, Carol’s mind threw us a knuckleball.  She now has conversations with herself whenever she sees a mirror.  She thinks the person she sees is an actual, living, breathing entity.  Every night she’s usually in bed by 8pm.  But last night she was up until 1am [way past her bedtime].  She thinks the person she sees in the mirror lives here.  With Mark away at school, it’s just Greg, her, me and three cats that live here.  But she always thinks there’s more people here.  She went about making her a bed to sleep in the spare bedroom.  I have to tell her without raising my voice [I do that when I’m frustrated] the it’s not really her, it’s just a reflection, a “mirror image” of her.

Today she wouldn’t shower because her reflection hadn’t done so yet.  It took me 45 minutes to convince her that the person in the mirror really isn’t someone else.  She looked at me and said “I know.”  Her lips said that, but I wasn’t convinced her brain said it.  I was going to cover the mirror with a sheet so she wouldn’t have to see it, but it’s mounted too close to the wall to be able to cover it.  Lisa suggested taping newspaper over it.  That might be the ticket.  I just don’t have any newspapers.  We don’t subscribe to the local rag.   I guess I’ll have to buy a few.  Maybe I won’t have to – we’ll see.

When she told me that she knew the person in the mirror wasn’t real, I asked her to prove it to me by taking a shower.  She did it!  After she came downstairs, all clean and dressed, I asked her “how do you feel?”  Her answer surprised me – “I’m free!”  She said she had been “putting all my stuff into that”, but now that she understands the reflection isn’t exactly “real” she feels unburdened.  I hope that feeling lasts.  I know her brain is giving her a hard time, but I can’t be doing things this intense every day.  If I do, I won’t make it to 60.