Friday, March 27, 2020

The Head-Banging Never Stops…


This is going to be short.

The best thing about banging your head against a brick wall is it feels great when it’s over, or so I’m told.  Whoever came up with that phrase didn’t have to care for someone with dementia.  Why do I say that?  Because the head-banging never stops.  A while ago, I told you about a product called Tile, and that it helps you to locate things that have been misplaced.  However, it only works if the person you want to help cooperates.

About two months ago, I had to go TDY to Indiana.  Carol had $100 in her wallet, as well as her driver’s license, which is her only photo ID [and which I’ve replaced once already].  I gave the money and the license to Greg for safe-keeping in case they were needed, such as if she had to be seen by a doctor while I was away.  A couple of weekends ago, Mark visited us during his spring break.  While he was here, Carol asked Mark to help her look for her wallet, because it had the $100.  Once Mark told me this, I turned on my phone and activated the Tile app so the Tile I put in her wallet would start squawking.  The good news is that the Tile worked as it was intended.  The bad news is that it wasn’t with her wallet.  Then I asked Greg where the money and the license were.  He told me that Carol had taken them back to put in her wallet.  I didn’t bother to ask Carol why she removed the Tile from her wallet, because it would have been an exercise in futility. 

After the letdown of not being able to find the missing wallet [it’s in this house somewhere], she complained about a missing set of keys.  Her key chain had its own Tile.  When I activated the Tile for her key chain, same result – a squawking Tile that was easy to locate, but no keys.  She took the Tile off the key chain, just like she had with her wallet.  The hits just keep on coming…

Why do I bother?

This week I started working from home because of COVID-19.  Also, this week, Carol decided she didn’t want to take her evening meds.  Ever since she was put on a morning and evening meds ritual, she’s been complaining about having to take the same thing over and over again.  Then she said she didn’t need them because she falls asleep easily and doesn’t need them.  I’ve explained the evening pills weren’t for sleeping, but to help her mind.  That message hasn’t stuck and probably never will.  This evening, I asked her if she would take her pills, and she said no, she didn’t like the way they taste.  This time I said “you’re getting further and further away from me”.  She said she wasn’t going anywhere, and I explained that wasn’t what I meant.  I told her “sometimes you don’t even remember my name.”  I still have a hard time convincing her that she has two kids.  She doesn’t believe me.  I can’t MAKE her take her meds, and I don’t know how to convince her to do so.

Why do I bother?

I know why I bother, but it’s no comfort.  I know how this will end, but I fear the end will be coming sooner.

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