This is going to be short.
The best thing about banging your head
against a brick wall is it feels great when it’s over, or so I’m told. Whoever came up with that phrase didn’t have
to care for someone with dementia. Why
do I say that? Because the head-banging
never stops. A while ago, I told you
about a product called Tile, and that it helps you to locate things that have
been misplaced. However, it only works
if the person you want to help cooperates.
About two months ago, I had to go TDY to
Indiana. Carol had $100 in her wallet,
as well as her driver’s license, which is her only photo ID [and which I’ve
replaced once already]. I gave the money
and the license to Greg for safe-keeping in case they were needed, such as if
she had to be seen by a doctor while I was away. A couple of weekends ago, Mark visited us
during his spring break. While he was
here, Carol asked Mark to help her look for her wallet, because it had the
$100. Once Mark told me this, I turned on
my phone and activated the Tile app so the Tile I put in her wallet would start
squawking. The good news is that the
Tile worked as it was intended. The bad
news is that it wasn’t with her wallet.
Then I asked Greg where the money and the license were. He told me that Carol had taken them back to
put in her wallet. I didn’t bother to
ask Carol why she removed the Tile from her wallet, because it would have been
an exercise in futility.
After the letdown of not being able to find
the missing wallet [it’s in this house somewhere], she complained about a
missing set of keys. Her key chain had
its own Tile. When I activated the Tile
for her key chain, same result – a squawking Tile that was easy to locate, but
no keys. She took the Tile off the key
chain, just like she had with her wallet.
The hits just keep on coming…
Why do I bother?
This week I started working from home
because of COVID-19. Also, this week,
Carol decided she didn’t want to take her evening meds. Ever since she was put on a morning and
evening meds ritual, she’s been complaining about having to take the same thing
over and over again. Then she said she
didn’t need them because she falls asleep easily and doesn’t need them. I’ve explained the evening pills weren’t for
sleeping, but to help her mind. That
message hasn’t stuck and probably never will.
This evening, I asked her if she would take her pills, and she said no,
she didn’t like the way they taste. This
time I said “you’re getting further and further away from me”. She said she wasn’t going anywhere, and I
explained that wasn’t what I meant. I
told her “sometimes you don’t even remember my name.” I still have a hard time convincing her that
she has two kids. She doesn’t believe
me. I can’t MAKE her take her meds, and
I don’t know how to convince her to do so.
Why do I bother?
I know why I bother, but it’s no comfort. I know how this will end, but I fear the end
will be coming sooner.
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